Body aches and fatigue keep us physically weak as we discover that local schools and churches are closing their doors. I keep reminding myself that the same God who makes everything consist, like birds singing after winter and daffodils blooming after planting bulbs in the fall is also in control of this virus. He's in control of my Dad's critical surgery being postponed. He's in control of circumstances that feel beyond what I can handle, circumstances I can't speak of here. He's in control. I will be strong for my family with a strength found best in weakness, a strength coming straight from the throne of God. March 14, 2020
Our appetites have returned though we are still weak. It looks like we will not have our normal outings that break up stay-at-home-mom life. We must settle into our new normal while nearly everything is paused. March 15, 2020
Exhausted. Middle girl not feeling well, wanting held all afternoon. I struggled through the morning between our dog traipsing through the house with muddy paws and the youngest having a blow out diaper first thing in the morning. So many messes, so unfocused, so not enough of me. I needed a break, but that was impossible. Now that I have a break, all I can do is sit and decompress. Social distancing feels like social isolating with kids involved. May I look to God. May I prepare my heart to handle tomorrow. March 16, 2020
I'm not fearful of getting this virus. I'm frustrated that I feel like I'm on house arrest. May I have eyes to see it different, and to, like Paul in prison, find contentment and joy. This is not a prison. This is a place where little ones play, where life happens. This is not merely a house. It's a home. March 17, 2020
Today was calm. We are settling into our new normal. It was sunny for a change, so after the girls watched a live stream of preschool story time, we went outdoors to play for a bit. Time. Maybe this is a time to learn how best to use our time. March 18, 2020
I baked bread. The kids made their own little loaves, which felt like the chapter from "Little House on the Prairie, but we're not on a prairie. We are in town where grocery stores are easily accessed by car. Grocery stores, but no bread. Our Governor has said that all businesses close down unless they are life-sustaining. I don't know where that leaves my husband's company yet. Life-sustaining...who decides what is and what is not life-sustaining? Our lives are sustained by him working. Deep breath. It's going to be okay. March 19, 2020
It was 68 degrees with wind gusts and dark, gray, rain clouds today. It cleared up for twenty minutes. The dark clouds parted, blue skies and warm sun appeared. I rushed the girls out onto the deck, put up a baby gate by the stairs, and brought out snacks and the baby slide. My five-year-old brought out a blanket to have a picnic snack. She's being such a good sport about being home with nowhere to go. I know she's much more aware of things than her little sisters. Still, I'm trying to keep things on kid terms and trying to make these days enjoyable for them. It's certainly not the worst thing in the world, but it's strange to keep things normal while processing what's going on in our world. March 20, 2020
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